Open sesame

There I was, thinking another week would go by with nothing of interest to report around the homestead. Then late Friday night I received the modern day equivalent of an Indian attack. The torsion spring on my garage door snapped, trapping all my vehicles inside. Ok so maybe that’s not the best comparison I’ve ever come up with, but I’ve been watching a lot of old westerns lately.

Being the “do it yourself” kind of guy I am, I immediately set about figuring out how to replace the spring. This being my first ever garage I had no idea that torsions springs have a bad habit of killing people if they are installed wrong. Now most people would be deterred by that information. Often to my detriment, I am not most people. 

Ever the optimist, I was positive I could do the repair as long as I took the proper precautions. Really, what could go wrong? Well, I may never know. Apparently you can’t just go down to your local home supply store for these things. Probably because of that death and dismemberment thing. To my dismay, I was forced to turn to a professional. The only other option would have been to order online. Considering all of my many modes of transportation were trapped inside my sealed garage, waiting wasn't an option. 

After some quick internet searching I found a local company that seemed trustworthy. Most importantly they were able to come early the next morning and thankfully didn't cost much more then I would have spent ordering the parts myself. While I had a pro at my house I asked him to check out the rest of my arcane garage door system. With the exception of the rusted and almost non moving guide wheels he said the door and its components looked to be in very good shape: a huge relief considering the cost of garage doors. 

With the new wheels and springs, the door runs so smooth I no longer hear the clanking metal monstrosity inside the house. The repair was worth every penny.

It's all about location

  I have nothing to report on the home front. Other hobbies and vehicle repairs have taken up all my time again. On the plus side, I now have full working knowledge of motorcycle carburetor repair and the home brewing set up at my friends house now has dual zone, low power, automated fermentation temperature control. All thanks to some foam and a Raspberry Pi.

  I did discover that my house is a block away from the local 4th of July parade. That was an excellent surprise. I'm a sucker for kitschy americana like that.

Everyday I'm shufflin

Until recently, I was letting an old friend stay in my basement while he saved up for his big move out of state. Because of that, I’ve never really talked much about my basement. 

Like any other part of my house, it’s wonderfully vintage. It’s about 85% finished, surrounded in the same beautiful wood paneling that adorns much of the upstairs. There are three sectioned off rooms: a laundry room, a workshop and an office area. There’s even a fireplace and a full bathroom. It’s darn close to being its own house. I often refer to it as my summer home because it stays a constant 66 degrees.  

Most importantly, it has one built in feature of pure unadulterated 1960’s awesome. My friends, I speak of nothing other then in-floor shuffleboard. Complete with the original discs and push sticks. 

Even though in-floor shuffleboard was almost common in many mid-century homes, it’s surprisingly difficult to find rules for this size of floor shuffleboard. Most of what can be gleaned through a Google search is for the full size courts: the kind that my childish imagination pictures being on cruse ships and in retirement communities. Sadly, certain rules don't translate over to the smaller court. For instance, the rule of not scoring if your disc comes to rest on a line sounds like it wouldn't be a big deal. After you play three rounds and no one scores, your tune changes quickly. And don't even get me started about the difficulty of the “over the line rule” when alcohol is involved.

For the better advancement of humankind, my friends and I have chosen to follow a set of made-up rules deemed best for maximum fun value. For anyone who may stumble upon this page in search of rules for their mid century in-floor shuffleboard, or for those of who one day will randomly discover one hidden in your own basement,  I will present them below:

Best played with teams of two. One member of each team stands on either side of the court. (My discs are black and red so I will hence forth refer to teams as either the “black” or “red” team.)

Chose a side of the court to start, the player on the black team shoots first. (smoke before fire)

Play goes back and forth until all four discs are shot. 

Tally score for each team. There is a “ten off” section the disc can land in, but we don't allow the score to go below zero. Negative numbers take away from the total fun factor. 

Best two of three rounds wins. 

Everybody high fives and grabs another beer. 

I know there are many more rules and this is an ultra simplified version but I don't care. I’m playing to have a goofy time with friends. If I want to be serious I’ll spend the day strategically playing Axis and Allies.

Suburban Slacker Dream Scenario

 Last week I cleaned the patio. This week I ask: what does one do with said nice clean patio? 

Answer: invite friends over to hangout on it, of course! Nothing says summer to me like an impromptu patio party with friends, food and beer. It also gives me a chance to try out one of my more recent wacky, yet ingenious ideas. 

About a year ago I came across a projector on the cheap. I didn't really need it, but I have trouble passing on super deals (it’s a weird consumer driven compulsion I suffer from). I never got around to using the projector because of space issues or the general cost of screens. 

The railing on my patio, however, has given me an idea. If I could find something the right shape for a screen I could attach it to the railing and project movies while sitting outside. A suburban slacker dream scenario, if you will.  

While roaming my local big box home supply store, I came across one of my favorite building supplies: polystyrene sheets. It’s good for all kinds of nerd hobbies, anything from convention costuming to miniature gaming terrain (probably good for building houses, too, but that’s out of my league). The sheets are 4ft by 8ft making them a great size for a projector screen and very close to the 2.40:1 cinema aspect ratio. 

Best of all, they’re only twelve bucks. 

Throw on a little white primer (or screen paint if you want to get fancy) and BAM, you have a projector screen. Not perfect, but more then enough to satisfy your cinema loving friends on a summer evening and a heck of a lot cheaper. 

Gets The Tough Stains Out!

A week later my muscles still burn from scrubbing my brick patio. Mold, dirt and general grime had built up from who knows how many years of neglect. Being the center point of my outdoor life, there was no way I could stand idly by and ignore the filth. Something had to be done. 

After digging through the DIY filled interwebs for options, I quickly learned power washing was not the way to go and would kill the patio. Other options seemed costly and full of harsh chemicals. Neither of which I’m a fan of. Then, out of the darkness I saw a light; a tiny glimmer of hope, fueled by late night infomercials: OxiClean. 

Yes, you know what I’m talking about: that thing miracle cleaner Mr. Billy Mays was always talking about. Supposedly it destroys organic dirt and grime and is completely environmentally friendly. At least the first part, I can attest to. The OxiClean worked wonders on my patio and it’s really easy to use. Well, easy minus the back breaking scrubbing part that my muscles won’t let me forget. 

The steps are simple. Add a few scoops into a bucket of water. Mix and let sit for 5 min. Pour out onto the patio and let it sit there for about 10 min. Take a push broom and Scrub, scrub, scrub.

Thats it.

Revenge of the Toilet

When most people take vacations from work they go somewhere...else in the world, away from their everyday life and home.

Not this guy.

I took a week off work and spent almost the entire time here at my house fiddling with things. Guess it comes with the territory when you are madly in love with your house.
The first thing I tackled was that damn peach toilet. It’s been plaguing me since I moved in. Constantly running and full of crusted over original equipment, I cringe every time someone used it. 

With one failed attempt to repair it looming over me, this was my chance to regain my honor. This time, my strategy was simple. I was going to replace every single part inside the tank. That way I would be positive to knock out all possible scenarios of failure.

I’m proud to say the plan worked and after replacing all of the crusty vintage internal parts I now have a fully functioning toilet. Thanks to my local ReStore I was even able to upgrade to a brand new never used dual flush system. You know, the kind where it’s up on the handle for liquids and down on the handle for solids. I have to say so far I’m impressed with the system...but the true test will be the next party I have.

The General and Me

The GE

I’m coming to discover a difficulty with writing a blog about one’s house is that, from time to time, nothing interesting is going on. Seriously, not a thing has broken and nothing is in dire need of change. Hopefully I don't curse myself by saying this, but my house is great. 

And there’s more to this great house than the things I fix and acquire. Lets talk about some of the wonders I’ve already surrounded myself with. For instance, anybody know what it’s like to live with a late 40’s GE refrigerator? I do and let me tell you, its not for everyone. 

Cons

Size. I get the distinct feeling people in the 40‘s ate much more fresh food than I do. This GE, a gleaming white beacon of times past, is barely large enough for a child to trap himself in. Distasteful jokes aside, it is really small. Only about 5 feet in height and 3 feet in width. It’s not bad for just me and my girlfriend but if I had a family of any size I would need something much bigger. 

Freezer. As it is I’ve picked up a cheapo deep freeze to compensate for the world’s most adorable freezer cube thats nestled in the corner of the GE. It’s perfect if all you need to freeze is two ice cube trays and one bag of pizza rolls. Don't even consider fitting a frozen pizza in there. The GE strictly forbids it. 

Pros

Strangely Efficient. Honestly though, size seems to be the only draw back. Everything else is great. It looks incredible, it keeps my food super cold, it’s surprisingly quiet and really not that expensive to run. 

Sweet Sci-Fi Noises. When you open and close the door it makes some of the coolest noises ever heard. It’s like something out of an old sci-fi movie, right when the frosty horrors are sealed safely shut with a WHOOMP and a CLACK of the door.

Party Pleaser.  It's always a good time when someone sees it in your house, too. My favorite experience so far was from when I first moved in. The HVAC guy stopped dead in his tracks and stared at it. After mumbling an unidentifiable curse word, he turned around, looked at me, and said “don’t tell me that thing actually still works. I just had to throw out a 6-year old fridge and you have one older than my father.”